Friday, 20 May 2011

The G2 Flying Machine awards.

Rally forth you inventors.

Thanks to Mike at G2 we are going to be honouring the pioneers of aviation with the Insider Festival Flying Machine awards. Great prizes and glory await the inventor of the cannyest machine.

There are some rules. We have already determined that a steam engine does not have the power to weight ratio required for flight so we recommend mechanical (ie human) power, or the power of witchcraft or alchemy. Airships, gliders and balloons are permitted. Your flying machine must be portable, excess weight is the enemy of flight in any case. You must be able carry the machine to the launching point at the top of a steep hill so do not make it the size of a horseless carriage and you must be able to to strap your machine firmly to your body. You will be inspected by a team of experts for mechanical integrity before flight and only be cleared for take off if we are satisfied these conditions have been met. Insider management cannot take responsibility for the loss of either aviators or their machines during flight but we are responsible for the safety of spectators underneath the flight path.

To win the award you will be required to make a flight of 100 feet, we allow a continuously downward trajectory at an altitude between 50 and 10 feet from the ground and you will be launched from a short but perilously steep runway approximately 60 feet from the ground. Flight stewards, supervisors and medical professionals will be on hand.

Chocks away.

1 comment:

  1. Sign me up, I am going to use Scotland's largest flying mammalian, the deer, as inspiration for my flying contrapshun i.e. I will be wearing fur, as scientifice progress has shown it to be effectively negative in weight; many experiments involving, mostly, small fish, where the fur has been shown to aid buoyancy, have undoubtedly shown this to be true! Mostly.

    Also, my horns will be utilized to stir the oncoming air which, as any fule knows, is also proven to reverse the effects of gravity. If there even is such a thing (Has it been invented yet?)!
    Let's party like it's 1899.